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Time to tell your a therian


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I'm scared to tell my family that I am a therian, when is a good time to tell them?
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Radiant_Day Fictionkin, Yakko Fictionkin, canine hearted, feline hearted, Red Panda Therian, Clink of Po,:atal Error Sans, P!Tord, Michaelangelo from ROTTMNT

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That's very dependent upon your situation. If you feel that they'll react okay, then I'd say whenever you feel sure that you're ready. Even if they take it well, they're probably going to ask a lot of questions. (Probably anything from "what's a therian" to "why do you think you're a [whatever kintypes you tell them about]?" They may also ask things like why you "decided" to do/be this or if they did something wrong to cause this.) I'd suggest waiting until you feel at least relatively confident answering those, even if the answer is "I'm still figuring it out." You know your family, so think about what they're likely to do or ask when presented with that information and make sure you feel prepared and confident enough (even if you're still nervous) to handle that.

 

You don't  have to tell them, either. I never told my family and have no intention of ever doing so. Granted, my case is a little different in that I was 18 and out of the house before I ever came across the concept of therianthropy. But if you feel that it poses a risk to your safety or your ability to just live your life, then I would caution against it. By the same token, if they're likely to be supportive or at least neutral about it, then I'd say go for it. Again, you know your family. Just make sure you aren't putting yourself at risk. If you feel like you  have to tell them, but are afraid it will go badly - like dangerous or detrimental bad - you always have the option of waiting until you're out of the house. I know that probably seems like it's forever away, but trust me, it's not. You'll be surprised, once you hit that point, how fast it went. But basically, I'd say wait until you're sure you're not putting your physical or mental well-being at risk and that you're confident enough to handle their potential questions and comments. If that's now, go for it. If that's not for another 4~5 years, that's fine. If that's never, that's okay, too. Do what's best for you.

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Rowan

Wolf Therian | Gryphonkin | Kitsunekin | Crowkith | Ravenkith | Red-Tailed Hawk-kith

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I came out to my mother as fictionkin. Just know, you don't have to. I took a lot of time to write down her certain behaviors to determine whether or not she'd accept. I explained aspects of the otherkin community so she understands well and you have to make sure you explained everything very well.

"everyone is dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb.."

she/her

 

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That's very dependent upon your situation. If you feel that they'll react okay, then I'd say whenever you feel sure that you're ready. Even if they take it well, they're probably going to ask a lot of questions. (Probably anything from "what's a therian" to "why do you think you're a [whatever kintypes you tell them about]?" They may also ask things like why you "decided" to do/be this or if they did something wrong to cause this.) I'd suggest waiting until you feel at least relatively confident answering those, even if the answer is "I'm still figuring it out." You know your family, so think about what they're likely to do or ask when presented with that information and make sure you feel prepared and confident enough (even if you're still nervous) to handle that.

 

You don't  have to tell them, either. I never told my family and have no intention of ever doing so. Granted, my case is a little different in that I was 18 and out of the house before I ever came across the concept of therianthropy. But if you feel that it poses a risk to your safety or your ability to just live your life, then I would caution against it. By the same token, if they're likely to be supportive or at least neutral about it, then I'd say go for it. Again, you know your family. Just make sure you aren't putting yourself at risk. If you feel like you  have to tell them, but are afraid it will go badly - like dangerous or detrimental bad - you always have the option of waiting until you're out of the house. I know that probably seems like it's forever away, but trust me, it's not. You'll be surprised, once you hit that point, how fast it went. But basically, I'd say wait until you're sure you're not putting your physical or mental well-being at risk and that you're confident enough to handle their potential questions and comments. If that's now, go for it. If that's not for another 4~5 years, that's fine. If that's never, that's okay, too. Do what's best for you.

Thank you. My family isn't really accepting of new things. My mom even hates when I call myself a furry because of the stigma around the Fandom. My mom doesn't even know I'm a lesbian and non binary. She only knows that I am ace, and it's not just because of me not feeling that attraction. Its also because of trauma, plus and I don't feel like it is time yet. And like you said, I don't have to tell her I'm a therian. Again, thank you.

[automerge]1651971658[/automerge]

I came out to my mother as fictionkin. Just know, you don't have to. I took a lot of time to write down her certain behaviors to determine whether or not she'd accept. I explained aspects of the otherkin community so she understands well and you have to make sure you explained everything very well.

Thank you so much.

Radiant_Day Fictionkin, Yakko Fictionkin, canine hearted, feline hearted, Red Panda Therian, Clink of Po,:atal Error Sans, P!Tord, Michaelangelo from ROTTMNT

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I'm scared to tell my family that I am a therian, when is a good time to tell them?

I'm a bit late, but my perspective is you really don't have to tell anyone! However if you really want to, it'd be best to wait for a day when everyone is in a good mood and a topic similar to your therianthropy comes up. Example: you're watching a wolf documentary in the living room with family, once its over you ask how it was, and then slowly bring up your therianthropy.

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Thank you. My family isn't really accepting of new things. My mom even hates when I call myself a furry because of the stigma around the Fandom. My mom doesn't even know I'm a lesbian and non binary. She only knows that I am ace, and it's not just because of me not feeling that attraction. Its also because of trauma, plus and I don't feel like it is time yet. And like you said, I don't have to tell her I'm a therian. Again, thank you.

[automerge]1651971658[/automerge]

 

Thank you so much.

Correct if I'm wrong but I thought the term lesbian applied to females. While everyone else uses the term gay to describe their sexuality

Edit: I mean this mostly as a question

Julius the cat , the eldest Disney toon
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Correct if I'm wrong but I thought the term lesbian applied to females. While everyone else uses the term gay to describe their sexuality

That was a while ago, but used the term because was attracted to femininity and I didn't know any other terms, so I said I was lesbian.

Radiant_Day Fictionkin, Yakko Fictionkin, canine hearted, feline hearted, Red Panda Therian, Clink of Po,:atal Error Sans, P!Tord, Michaelangelo from ROTTMNT

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Gotcha. Also my personal experience is a bit rocky. My parents thought this was, "weird thing of the week" for me. Admittedly I'm a weird guy but, they started thinking all otherkin we're bad because I trusted some bad people who were otherkin. Those bad people lied about me trying to ruin my life by making false allegations against me for disagreeing with the notion that "all men men are [spoiler=Triggering material ]rapey

"

[automerge]1653181815[/automerge]

I got falsely banned from that discord server because the mods just assumed this female individual (I refuse to call her a lady because, lady is the female equivalent of gentleman)was telling the truth. I still have screenshots of the whole convo

Julius the cat , the eldest Disney toon
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Gotcha. Also my personal experience is a bit rocky. My parents thought this was, "weird thing of the week" for me. Admittedly I'm a

Gotcha. Also my personal experience is a bit rocky. My parents thought this was, "weird thing of the week" for me. Admittedly I'm a weird guy but, they started thinking all otherkin we're bad because I trusted some bad people who were otherkin. Those bad people lied about me trying to ruin my life by making false allegations against me for disagreeing with the notion that "all men men are [spoiler=Triggering material ]rapey

"

[automerge]1653181815[/automerge]

I got falsely banned from that discord server because the mods just assumed this female individual (I refuse to call her a lady because, lady is the female equivalent of gentleman)was telling the truth. I still have screenshots of the whole convo

I feel really bad for you, people can be bad

[automerge]1653181936[/automerge]

I feel really bad for you, people can be bad

I would not like to see the screenshots because I may get triggered.

Radiant_Day Fictionkin, Yakko Fictionkin, canine hearted, feline hearted, Red Panda Therian, Clink of Po,:atal Error Sans, P!Tord, Michaelangelo from ROTTMNT

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I hate her with everything I have. [spoiler=Angry rant]She is a evil being that deserves nothing than to suffer for her deeds against me.

 

I hate some people to, I hate all the men who did things to my family and me.

Abuse and betrayal. Sums it up.

Radiant_Day Fictionkin, Yakko Fictionkin, canine hearted, feline hearted, Red Panda Therian, Clink of Po,:atal Error Sans, P!Tord, Michaelangelo from ROTTMNT

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I feel really bad for you, people can be bad

[automerge]1653181936[/automerge]

 

I would not like to see the screenshots because I may get triggered.

I don't blame you. I don't want to look at them either. Because let's be honest this is what my experience with otherkin started as. I take screenshots of most of my online conversations should anyone else attempt to hurt me

Julius the cat , the eldest Disney toon
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I don't blame you. I don't want to look at them either. Because let's be honest this is what my experience with otherkin started as. I take screenshots of most of my online conversations should anyone else attempt to hurt me

Not everyone is bad, I learned that from my Nana. Your a good person and they are just horrible people from

 

Trigger

 

 

 

Hell. Crawled out of the pits of hell.

 

I'm sorry for saying that.

Radiant_Day Fictionkin, Yakko Fictionkin, canine hearted, feline hearted, Red Panda Therian, Clink of Po,:atal Error Sans, P!Tord, Michaelangelo from ROTTMNT

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Not everyone is bad, I learned that from my Nana. Your a good person and they are just horrible people from

 

Trigger

 

 

 

Hell. Crawled out of the pits of hell.

 

I'm sorry for saying that.

I'd tell those people to go back from whence they came but, that would be unfair to bendy

Julius the cat , the eldest Disney toon
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I'd tell those people to go back from whence they came but, that would be unfair to bendy

Yeah, Bendy is a great guy. Saw him yesterday!

[automerge]1653182324[/automerge]

Yeah, Bendy is a great guy. Saw him yesterday!

And is it wierd, but I really want to do some ship art of us.

[automerge]1653182336[/automerge]

Yeah, Bendy is a great guy. Saw him yesterday!

[automerge]1653182324[/automerge]

 

And is it wierd, but I really want to do some ship art of us.

Me and Bendy that it.

Radiant_Day Fictionkin, Yakko Fictionkin, canine hearted, feline hearted, Red Panda Therian, Clink of Po,:atal Error Sans, P!Tord, Michaelangelo from ROTTMNT

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He actually told me in advance he wanted to meet you

He did yesterday! I think he likes me!

Radiant_Day Fictionkin, Yakko Fictionkin, canine hearted, feline hearted, Red Panda Therian, Clink of Po,:atal Error Sans, P!Tord, Michaelangelo from ROTTMNT

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Yeah, Bendy is a great guy. Saw him yesterday!

[automerge]1653182324[/automerge]

 

And is it wierd, but I really want to do some ship art of us.

[automerge]1653182336[/automerge]

 

Me and Bendy that it.

That version of Bendy is married to Alice. We did a whole special about it

Julius the cat , the eldest Disney toon
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That version of Bendy is married to Alice. We did a whole special about it

Oh! I didn't know, I'm sorry Bendy!

Radiant_Day Fictionkin, Yakko Fictionkin, canine hearted, feline hearted, Red Panda Therian, Clink of Po,:atal Error Sans, P!Tord, Michaelangelo from ROTTMNT

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Oh! I didn't know, I'm sorry Bendy!

I'm sure he's fine.

 

I must confess 2 things tho: 1)I find blacklists on words to be a dumb concept. I mean if I can't say "lime" without getting banned I'm clearly in a nightmare of over offended nutjobs

 

2) while I respect them, I find trigger warnings stupid as there's been studies proving they don't help

Julius the cat , the eldest Disney toon
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I'm sure he's fine.

 

I must confess 2 things tho: 1)I find blacklists on words to be a dumb concept. I mean if I can't say "lime" without getting banned I'm clearly in a nightmare of over offended nutjobs

 

2) while I respect them, I find trigger warnings stupid as there's been studies proving they don't help

My god, the blacklist on words like that suck! I agree with you on the second point too.

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Radiant_Day Fictionkin, Yakko Fictionkin, canine hearted, feline hearted, Red Panda Therian, Clink of Po,:atal Error Sans, P!Tord, Michaelangelo from ROTTMNT

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Friendly mod reminder to take personal conversations to private threads/dms. :)

I'm sorry, this was back to when I didn't know anything. I'm sorry.

Radiant_Day Fictionkin, Yakko Fictionkin, canine hearted, feline hearted, Red Panda Therian, Clink of Po,:atal Error Sans, P!Tord, Michaelangelo from ROTTMNT

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This is the advice I offer most, if not all, when in lapse of any situationally specific information.

 

For what reason does one need to tell anyone of being what is often called "therian" or similarly, "otherkin"?

 

I mean this in the most absolute sense, is it a need? Is it pressing? If so, why is it? What about it is pressing? What makes it worth the potential social consequences one is likely, if not liable, to face for doing so? What makes those being told trustworthy enough to have this kind of personal knowledge? What would it change for the better? Can any of that be assured to be the outcome? On and on this list can go, I am sure one understands by this point. If even one of these questions cannot be addressed well, then it should probably not be done at all until all of them, and those similar devised by oneself are too at that.

 

There is little to no benefit to be gained from making a purely internal experience and inner event an outer one to those who will likely not appreciate or understand it. Thus, there is no need or rush to pursue it; it may seem like a good idea to share this excitedly with everyone one cares about but never should it be forgotten that what is "other" is by default not the "norm". These persons, no matter how much they love oneself, are not liable to know what one is talking about or understand it even if they know it, and least of all, they almost assuredly cannot experience it and subsequently suffer from the reality of really only being able to conceive of it at most conceptually. Lastly, because they lack these three things, appreciating it is liable to be beyond them, even if it holds obvious value to oneself. To phrase this bluntly for the sake of one's potential relationships, this kind of seemingly sudden talk and its strangeness is very likely, if not quite likely, to permanently sabotage at worst and change at best, for better or worse, any relationship one has with the informed party. In the end, they might still be a good close friend or a loving parent or anything else and anything between, but if this is taken even remotely seriously, that dynamic will be irrevocably changed.

 

I will also add that the supermajority of those asking this very question are often quite new to their awakening and discovery process. This is not to say they are explicitly wrong about their discovery but as the trend goes, most are. In their excitement to share these new things of what they might be, all too often the deeper reflection and introspection on the matter has been scarcely done or at least done at depth and length which would lend self-credibility to what is, reasonably, an outlandish claim to the average person.

 

My personal advice is that unless one is both absolutely certain and absolutely has a reason for others to gain a need to know, this is best left never said aloud or hinted at too overtly. I have lived a lifetime's worth of encounters with people ranging from those who I am surrounded by and speak none of the language of to those I have known sincerely and intimately, and capable of speaking unspoken words with. There have been three in this entire time, who I have known for tens of years, who I so much as revealed it to and only after it was essential to continue our ways in doing so. In all three cases, it was a risk, and had it failed it would have cost me the few people I can safely say I have genuinely cared about; choose extremely wisely.

 

Ultimately it is one's choice in the end but never would it be my recommendation. There is too little to gain, too much to lose. Just live one's life impeccably toward oneself and others, allowing them to judge based off of actions carried out.

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I told my closest friends about my identity ... And on the internet. ^^" Aaand..

Of course.. to my lovers ... I wouldn't go to bed with them without it. Xd And I told my friend recently and all the reactions were nice. C:

But what I'm afraid of is my family.

They are conservative and I'm glad they barely understood that I had an ex-girlfriend as a female.

I think it will be a long time before I tell them. But I want to tell them. Because I love them. At least to my sister. She deserves to know. Maybe she'll be queer too. Her 11 years old. She has enough time. >¬<

As others have said .. You have to be sure of yourself .. To love yourself and then share it at the right time if you consider it important. :>

 

I would be ashamed that my child wouldn't want to tell me what they is and how they feels. I would be a terrible mother. Therefore, I will try to avoid it all. ^^

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Kintype Patronus, She / They -w- signe Violet~
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2 cents from someone who spent their entire life figuring themself.

 

If this is on a spiritual level for you, why do you owe it to anyone to tell them your kinship?

 

Unlike what you can physically see (sexual orientation and gender expression) you cannot see what someone's spirit is.

 

In my own experience, I keep my kinship private, because it's no one's business if I find kinship with wolves. For all anyone knows I'm just the weird woman who occasionally tunes into an online sermon to strengthen my relationship with the good lord and tells people to drink more coffee while blasting (no pun intended) Rancid - ...And Out Come the Wolves.

 

I may tell my boo I have a wolf spirit. But he's agnostic and a critical thinker and would ask too many questions and I'm terrible at explaining what goes on within my own body. So for this reason, (to reference Deadpool) I'm the crazy that matches his crazy and anything that I may do is just me being me. Also our circle of people are skeptics of everything from the establishment to the LGBT community so I keep further to myself around them (bae knows my sexuality and is fully accepting).

 

From a 32 yr old wolf you don't owe therian coming out to anyone but you, yourself and your creator. Anyone whom you may tell should be people you have great trust that they won't demean you and make you feel like less of yourself. And even if you have those people, you don't owe it to them to explain yourself.

 

A lot of this 2 cent reply comes from life forcing me to disassociate from pack mentality and ride or die for very few people whom I know would also jump into a burning building to save me, as I would for them.

 

I'm here if you need someone, Verka.

 

~Shadow~

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