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Otherkin friend keeps saying they’re every character I like or relate to, how do I interact?


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If I say I like/relate to/have been compared to an attractive character before, almost every time one of my friends announces that they C’link or are that character either immediately or a week to a few months after. It only happens with attractive characters, mind you. I have no clue what’s going on, and I purposely asked that no one discuss one of my favorite series in the group chat because I relate to and am questioning the main character, and I knew they were going to snatch them up if they heard it. They literally said they were questioning the character after I said I was uncomfortable, so this is clearly a pattern and it’s causing me to think that I probably shouldn’t be as accepting of who people claim to be as I am because this doesn’t feel like it makes sense, it almost feels possessive or exclusionary. Is there a reason that something like this is going on that reflects more positively on them than how it seems to me? Has anyone dealt with this before? And how do I interact with someone like this? I basically can’t talk about half my interests because of them, and we’ve spoken about it before and it’s still happening so something isn’t working. Has anyone been in this person’s shoes, and would you be able to offer insight into what’s happening?
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One possible but unlikely reason for this behavior is that they want to make you happy. "If they like this character, I'm going to link with this character so that they can interact with this character IRL."

Another reason could be that they have low self-esteem and link with attractive characters to feel better about themselves.

They could also be a troll and are trying to annoy you until you break. They could be testing you to see how long it takes for you to snap at them.

Within isolation comes self-discovery.

 

~Caracal therian (C. caracal caracal) | Sunny fictionkin (Omori) | Razorwhip fictherian (Dragons: Race To The Edge)~

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One possible but unlikely reason for this behavior is that they want to make you happy. "If they like this character, I'm going to link with this character so that they can interact with this character IRL."

Another reason could be that they have low self-esteem and link with attractive characters to feel better about themselves.

They could also be a troll and are trying to annoy you until you break. They could be testing you to see how long it takes for you to snap at them.

I’ve told them before that it’s made me uncomfortable and that I don’t like when they take credit for how the character effected me because it’s personal and a lot of it has to do with my own mind instead of canon or any timeline that could exist, so they definitely aren’t doing this to make me happy lol. It’s actually been making me miserable and it’s kind of a well known fact among our close friends and I’m trying really hard to work on being better so it doesn’t effect me so much.

 

It could be? They say they have high self esteem all the time and they show off a lot, and I’ve seen their moments of what they call low self esteem, but things like that can run deeper than is easy for people to pick up on. But since some of it seems kind of dependent on me saying I relate to/like/have been compared to someone, them latching onto the characters that make me feel good about myself and making it so my association/attachment to them is secondary feels a bit worse 😅

 

I don’t think they’re trolling, they’re a good person and this and some imitation of me and the things I do/say/associate myself with have been the only issues so far, and they stopped a bit of the imitating but not all of it when I asked, so I don’t think they’re doing anything that’s straightforwardly malicious. Self esteem and identity can become tricky things so it’s hard to be fully aware of how they influence your thoughts and actions. I’m leaning towards the idea that they’re a bit insecure and possessive, and some of these characters are very popular and relatable too so it’s easy to find a personal connection.

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Take this with a grain of salt, since I am ultimately a stranger and do not know the full ins and outs of your relationship with your friend. I'm just going to go off of what my gut is telling me after reading your posts:

 

This person seems to be competing with you. The bit about them taking credit for how a character affects you (by the way: WTF?) is only one of the things that make me suspicious of this. Something about you may possibly be threatening to them, and this could be their way of expressing some form of weird social domination. The second reason is the mention of them showing off and claiming to have a high self esteem. In my experience, people who actually have a high self esteem rarely feel the need to do those things because external validation and praise does little for a being with a peaceful inner sanctum.

 

I know you said you believe they are a good person, but I would be wary if I were in your position, especially since it seems like breaching a boundary is relatively easy for them.

"Wholly wounded, I imitate, I take shape."

polymorphic

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Take this with a grain of salt, since I am ultimately a stranger and do not know the full ins and outs of your relationship with your friend. I'm just going to go off of what my gut is telling me after reading your posts:

 

This person seems to be competing with you. The bit about them taking credit for how a character affects you (by the way: WTF?) is only one of the things that make me suspicious of this. Something about you may possibly be threatening to them, and this could be their way of expressing some form of weird social domination. The second reason is the mention of them showing off and claiming to have a high self esteem. In my experience, people who actually have a high self esteem rarely feel the need to do those things because external validation and praise does little for a being with a peaceful inner sanctum.

 

I know you said you believe they are a good person, but I would be wary if I were in your position, especially since it seems like breaching a boundary is relatively easy for them.

They’re a good person without a doubt, but they’re also a bit oblivious to their own behaviors/thoughts/feelings and it’s caused some issues before, so maybe the theory that they’re competing holds up? Just that they’re unaware of it. As much as this bothers me, and as bad as it looks, the idea that they’re doing that without realizing it feels a lot better than if they’re doing it intentionally. I’m insecure too, to the point where I’m kind of a mess half the time, so I understand that someone might have to do something dramatic to feel good about themself. It’s just kind of depressing tbh, but I should work on getting over it.

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Tiff (she/her) -- We're a system of soulbounds, so while we aren't necessarily fictionkin it sort of relates to our situation as well. In our system we have a belief in multiverse theory (i.e., there are infinite alternate universes with all sorts of different possibilities, and we're not the only "versions" of ourselves). That's what we try to keep in mind when we think about the possibility of someone else having other versions of ourselves in their own system, or even the possibility of someone identifying as one of us as fictionkin. So it's possible that if you relate to or identify yourself as another character, that someone else calling dibs on that character shouldn't stop you from doing so. Try to keep that in mind next time they say that they identify as a character you also happen to closely relate to, that no matter what, that shouldn't stop you from also identifying that way :)

Red Fox Therian | Mooglekin | Sylveonkin | System full of fictives

Foxcore: She/Her (Headmates' pronouns are varied)

Musician, furry artist, fan of trash movies and rhythm games

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Tiff (she/her) -- We're a system of soulbounds, so while we aren't necessarily fictionkin it sort of relates to our situation as well. In our system we have a belief in multiverse theory (i.e., there are infinite alternate universes with all sorts of different possibilities, and we're not the only "versions" of ourselves). That's what we try to keep in mind when we think about the possibility of someone else having other versions of ourselves in their own system, or even the possibility of someone identifying as one of us as fictionkin. So it's possible that if you relate to or identify yourself as another character, that someone else calling dibs on that character shouldn't stop you from doing so. Try to keep that in mind next time they say that they identify as a character you also happen to closely relate to, that no matter what, that shouldn't stop you from also identifying that way :)

The issue is that no one takes me seriously after this other person says it, and they’re a lot louder than me and I get overpowered very easily. Plus this is sort of heavily dependent on me talking about my tie to them. It happened with someone I was questioning recently, and by the time I was ready to mention it in public it came out that they already confirmed them and I got brushed to the side lol. They invalidate me in my social spaces, but you’re right that I shouldn’t let it effect how I see myself. I just feel bad because due to this person I can’t be myself in public.

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