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Douchebag Genie Gives You One Wish


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I wish for Douchebag Genie to give me an 8 week old bengal kitten, the gender of the kitten doesn't matter. This kitten must be affectionate and loyal to me, and completely healthy. No making me allergic to cats, giving me a dead kitten, or ending the kitten's life prematurely. The genie must have legally gotten the kitten from a humane animal shelter before giving it to me. I must be legally recongized as the kitten's owner, and since I already have multiple cats, I already have all of the required supplies to feed and take care of it.
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Granted, but asshole genie poses as an innocent bystander claiming to have seen you doing inappropriate and abusive things with the cat (you know what I'm talking about) the day after you got it. And he promptly calls the cops on you. He also happens to be an expert courtroom prosecutor; managing to falsely frame you as guilty with magically generated photo and video evidence.

 

Have fun with a lifetime in jail

 

 

(side not: Holy shit! This thread isn't dead!!!)

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Guest Deleted member 56852
I wish for Douchebag Genie gives me the right body and my abiltities that came with being a kitsune.
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Guest Deleted member 56852

Granted but you get driven out of human society and forced to live in the wilderness

i am a okay with this, i hate humans

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I wish to physically be Undyne from Undertale, with all lf the abilities that come with it. I am fully accepted by society and all human rights still apply to me. If I am still experimented on, the experiments will no nothing and the entire Undertale fandom will be notified and storm the laboratory. If anyone kills me, they will be charged with first degree murder.
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Granted but you got a useless degree in art history and now you have a lifetime's worth of debt and no way to pay it off

 

I wish I had moved into my own apartment 4-5 years ago, with the money I earned from an honest, legal, and ethical job I actually enjoy doing (earning at least $6000 per month) and didn't still live with my parents

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Guest Deleted member 56852

granted, but a car falls ontop of you

 

i wish marvel and dc characters were real here, and not just alters/astral members

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Granted but they hate you.

 

 

I'll say it again,

I wish your douchebag genie to cure Zizzy so she can travel with Pony, Player, Mimi, Zee, Zuzy, and Girrafy again.

"they call him hermit the frog, hes looking for a dog. did you find your b!tch in me? your an abomination socially.."

she/her

 

 

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I wish for another wish that can only be interpreted and executed the way I mean it, and cannot have the genie interfere afterward.
The part of my mind which brought me here (Chrysalis in a matter of speaking ) has been insistent on traveling between my homes and I felt that managing to do something along the lines of that would be a challenge to my intellect.
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I wish for another wish that can only be interpreted and executed the way I mean it, and cannot have the genie interfere afterward.

Granted but you are able to ask for it

 

I wish for the ability to shapeshift into literally anything I desire on a whim with nothing but a mere thought. I always retain the same level of intelligence and clarity (that being a level common to the average human brain) regardless of the form I take. I have complete control over what I turn into and when. And it is impossible for me to get "stuck" in any particular shape.

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